Day 18 - The Atheistic "Jesus Christ" Moment

Good day/night, whatever it may be, wherever you are reading this.  In recent posts I have "come out" as an atheist.  This didn't happen right away, it was a gradual understanding that began to lift the shroud from my eyes.  For those of you that haven't read my past posts, I would suggest quickly reading [The Thorn: http://temporalrelativity.blogspot.com/2011/10/day-16-thorn.html] and [I'm Coming Out: http://temporalrelativity.blogspot.com/2011/06/day-12-im-coming-out.html].  Those should give you a good synapses of my upbringing and realizations.

This post is a little different, however.  I feel as if I am having some type of crisis because of all this "transitioning and understanding".  The amazing thing about religion, as warped as it is, is that you get a nice little package.  You are born because of some "god" given reason, you live for some "god" given reason and you die for some "god" given reason.  Then, you live on into eternity in some alter-dimension of awesomeness (or complete misery depending on how things go).

The hard part of this, which, ironically is the comforting part, is that you don't have to question anything.  If you do happen to question something that is grand or deep in understanding you just have to "know" that "god works in mysterious ways"...  Again, I'm completely out of this brainwashed business, but I've run into a problem, the crisis I mentioned.  I am calling it "The Atheistic Jesus Christ Moment".  Any good Xian (Christian for those asking what this means) knows the story of Jesus Christ wandering the town and the hills and his "WTF" moment.  He suddenly realizes that God put him on Earth to just die for the sins of mankind and save all of our souls.  JC, being partly human, is understandably pissed off and starts freaking out, in that hippie/pacifist kind of way.  The details aren't as relevant as the overall concept, JC realizes what he is and doesn't understand why it is going down this way.  This is where I am, for different reasons of course.

I have, of course, have realized that the probability of some "ultra deity" is insanely minute.  I can't completely say there isn't something because I simply don't know, but it seems pretty certain.  Additionally, this means there is no "afterlife" or Holy War, or anything for that matter.  It means that, in the most probable case, we are simply an organization of energy existing in a vast network of organized energetic entities.  We have no direct purpose, there is no karma, and, most importantly, when this body gives out, I am gone.  Out of everything, it is the last part that is freaking me the hell out.

I am very cool with the unplanned organization of our existence.  To me, it's the randomness that makes it all so beautiful.  The fact that a beautiful sunset occurs simply because of the arrangement of molecules in the atmosphere and angle of light from the sun.  That is beautiful because it just happens and I love that. 

On the flip side, it's the ending that is driving me crazy.  The simple idea that when my "spark" extinguishes I will cease to exist in mind, body, and spirit.  I am simply a collection of organic molecules and organisms coexisting in a time-bound harmony.  Much like a star exists in harmony with it's supply of hydrogen, but a star isn't conscious.  It doesn't see its own beauty over a neighboring planet's horizon.  It doesn't create and raises organic copies of itself as we do.  It doesn't stop to make the decision to be an atheist or a theist, it just is.  But for me, that isn't enough.  I can't get the idea out of my mind, like a black hole it consumes my thoughts.  Descartes said "I think, therefore I am."  What about "I think, therefore I am not"?  Because we think, we die... without thought there would not be conscious existence and without conscious existence there would not be death...

I would love to hear from fellow atheists, both recent and seasoned on how (if you have) you dealt with this issue and these questions.  I feel like I was dreaming on a raft in the middle of an ocean and have awaken.  The initial pleasure of knowing that I am truly awake is/was fantastic, however the idea that I'm floating on a raft in the middle of an ocean is slowly sinking in...

Day 16 - The Thorn

The thorn.  It is a painful little object that exists in one of the most unexpected places, the stem of the rose.  An item that symbolizes beauty and love.  It has manifested itself into history and our lives, and yet, the thorn is always overlooked.  It is always there, the possibility of danger and pain, but the beauty and mystique of the rose overshadows it.

So what is the point (pun severely intended)?  During my viewing of last night's #cnndebate , I noticed something very scary, and very real.  There was a question about religion, because of Romney's following of the Mormon faith, it has become somewhat of a controversy.  The question was: "Does it matter what a candidates faith is?".  I thought to myself, does it matter if a candidate has any faith at all?  As I thought about this, I listened to their responses about how faith governs morals and (from Newt) "How can you have morals without faith?" or "How can you be [trusted] with power when you don't pray?".  I listened, in awe, and realized that they were serious.  Then I heard the crowd cheer in approval and agreement, and I thought, they are serious too...

So where does this all tie together?  I've talked about this before, in other posts, but this is a little more specific, because it is becoming more clear and evident.  Religion is like the rose.  On the surface it is supposed to symbolize all that is beautiful in our world/lives and, of course, a strong symbol of love.  This is how it started of course. 

A great many years ago, before Catholics and Buddha, there were some basics.  There were "people" with very limited brain functions.  They had just came out of the jungles and out into the open lands.  They were bare, exposed, with very little real defenses.  They had one very special gift though, the ability to reason, to a degree, and that would prove to be the greatest advantage of all.  Many things were difficult to understand for early man, I would imagine.  My kids still are scared by lightning and thunder and need a simple explanation to help them cope with it.  Could you imagine the first humans trying to understand this?  We only understood basic concepts like power, hunger, thirst, and the desire to procreate.  The idea that molecules at different atmospheric pressures collide and create an immense burst of electrical energy wasn't even feasible at their point in time.  If I, as an early human, could make fire by rubbing sticks or smashing "rocks" together, then something (or someone) must be creating this lightning and thunder, or the wind and rain, etc.  It's simplicity is almost beautiful in a way.  There were so naive (not in a bad way) to the world and physics around them that they applied this logic to these phenomena.  I strongly believe that this simple application is probably what help early man survive, in any fashion.  The idea that something greater than them existed and moved the heavens and earth and was particularly concerned about whether or not the early humans would give it a proper sacrifice is simply beautiful.  I am grateful for their logic because it pushed them to build immense structures, elaborate systems of communal societies, moral structures, and so much more.

Something happened though.  At some point, religion shifted from the rose to the thorn.  Many might say it was the founding of science, but I disagree.  Science has always been there, the desire to reason and discover why something exists.  Our scientific methods have certainly improved over time, but in the beginning, religion stemmed from science.  This isn't the case then, it is something much more sinister.  Somewhere, somehow, somebody realized that religion is a very powerful tool.  They realized that not only did it explain things, but it kept order through fear.  Religion explained the unknown for people and they were addicted to it.  It may have been subtle or occurred over time, but nonetheless, the day came when somebody realized there wasn't actually any God (or gods).  This person, at the time, was one of the more powerful people at the time because they separated themselves from the crowd.  Imagine you're stuck in some 4th dimensional cube with millions of people.  Everyone is content living inside of this small, cramped cube, facing the same direction.  You happen to turn around and there is a door.  You decide to open that door and walk through.  Suddenly, you find yourself standing outside of the cube, which, in comparison, is about the size of a Lego block.  Imagine the amount of control you have in this situation.  But, you're a smart person, you decide not to disturb the block or tell anyone else.  So, you go back inside the cube and you tell everyone that we must do as we have done, we must stay inside this block and face forward or we'll never be able to attain eternal salvation.

Oh yes, there's more... Everyone is petrified, some people see the door but you tell them if they leave through that door they are banished forever from the cube and will never attain salvation.  Now, as time passes, other people call your bluff and go through the door.  So what the hell do you do now?  Let them in on the piece of the pie!  You tell them that you found this exit a long time ago and you can pretty much do whatever the hell you want because we are not restricted by this fictional cube.  However, you tell them that everyone inside the cube is petrified and will essentially stay calm and organized as long as they believe that the cube is real and it's message is clear and true.  So, these people go along with your plan and now you're living the high life, with some friends.

This, my fellow readers, is what religion has become.  It has become a simple thorn, every time we now try to admire beauty and express love, we are pained with this constant fear of being pricked, and hurt.  There are people, many people in fact, in this world that know that religion and God or gods, are not real.  It simply doesn't exist.  I had a "helluva" hard time coming to grips with this, even now, sometimes, it's hard for me to do it, but I do, just like quitting smoking.  The problem is that it is beat into our minds for so long, and it is everywhere we go and have been.  It has become much more subtle over time, but the fear and pain of it still exists.  I mean, me simply typing this article implies that I will never attain eternal salvation, but I am calling bullshit.  I am standing (well sitting) here and simply calling bullshit.  I ask that you do it too. 

We (well the former me) have been oppressed by people that have figured this out a long time ago.  Think about who religion caters to... the poor, the sick, the less fortunate, they will someday inherit a kingdom so much greater than this life or any riches or gold, blah blah blah.  It is crap.  It is a way to keep you humble and secure.  Look at all the successful people in this world.  Yes, some of them have done both, legitimately believed in religion AND had material success.  Overall though, many of these people simply walk over "the little guy" and claim to be religious and follow God.  It's a big screen and a lie.  They have realized, just as I have that religion doesn't actually exists and they are free to do whatever they want without any moral consequences outside of the law (which is why they spend so much money lobbying congress and having political careers, to influence the law).

I don't think it is time to abandon morals and start cut-throating each other, but I think it is time to abandon religion.  We can live wholesome, moral lives without the threat of God.  Hell, you are probably more moral if you do it because you want to, without the fear of some eternal damnation over your head.  The choice is up to you of course, but there simply is no compelling evidence that God, or gods, is real.  Every argument you are going to make defending religion is explainable and refutable by simple logic or lack of any real proof. It is time to take the thorn out of our sides and gaze upon existence's true beauty.  The fact that this is all happenstance and random is even more amazing to me than if some ultimate being crafted it.  I hope you'll join me outside of the cube, because the possibilities are limitless.

Day 12 - I'm Coming Out

You've reached this blog post from me, most likely with a certain thought in mind.  Based on the title and the obscurity of the details, you're reading to confirm your thoughts.  To keep it clear, this is not a "I'm coming out because I'm homosexual" post.  Although, I am rather curious to know how many people said "I knew it!" in their head when they read the title...  However, I am coming out in a different way, and that, is in relation to religion.  I've looked at all the instances and situations at face value and I can no longer live in the "fear bubble" of religion, it is time to set the mind and body free.

Many of you reading this probably could care less because you don't understand the background.  Let me quickly sum it up.  Every Sunday, since I can remember, we woke up at 6-630am.  Dad was always up before everyone, presumably with Mom, while my brother and I lay in bed praying (ironic isn't it?) that our parents accidentally slept in.  This was important because we would never go to church after the 7am mass because that was filled with singing and music which added an additional 45 or so minutes to the mass.

Every Christmas, we'd wake up, see our gifts, open some of them, only to have to shuffle off to church first.  Of course, the whole time, we were expected to sit quiety and listen to somebody read from a book...  Amazingly, every Saturday we went to CCD (learn how to be catholic classes), even though to this day I don't know what CCD actually stands for.  I made my sacrements: Baptism, Eucharist, Reconciliation, and I am married, first and only time, although it was not performed in a church.  This whole time, the world, I thought, made sense: You do good and good stuff will happen.  Well, that last part is right, but for a whole mess of other reasons.

Anyway, this is all fine, except it was a lie.  To be clear, these events occurred, but the entire thing isn't real.  I did things for reasons that don't exist.  I believe things were happening for the wrong reasons.  Yes, I turned out okay, morally sound and such, but not under the right pretenses, and that has been weighing on me...

Let me provide a simple example of how this is a bad thing.  Let us take Santa Clause.  A harmless fellow that only wants to provide children with happiness.  Of course, SC isn't real.  Parents, however, are able to capitalize on this "magic man" for their advantage, or so it would seem.  Throughout the year, kids are threatened with the "ultimate" threat of a lump of coal (even though it never happens).  During this time, parents are sneaking around, buying jingle bells, taking bites of cookies and the like, all for that one magical moment on Christmas Day (err, after church of course!)... This all sounds good, until the day we have to break the big news to the kids, to explain to them that SC is a lie and all those threats were empty... oh and by the way, Mom and Dad paid for all those items you got, so now that you know, the budget for Xmas is going to be a little smaller... SMASH...world = officially  broken. 

Here is a better idea, we teach the children that we as parents, love our kids so much that each year they get to go a little crazy and wish for all sorts of things.  Mom and Dad (or Mom and Mom or Dad and Dad, whatever works) work extra hard, long hours, double shifts, 2, maybe 3 jobs to see your faces glow for even that short period of time.  During that whole time, the kids aren't thanking SC, they aren't praising God, they are looking at their parents and saying "I gots me some kick ass parents".  Additionally, there is no lieing.  There is also a very long list of things that are no longer an issue.

Some people will argue that if you take things away, then "magic" will disappear, and I beg to differ.  Magic isn't real, so it can't disappear.  Imaginations will never go away, we can still read books to our kids and make up fantastical stories and play games and watch movies, we just don't need to lie about what is real and what isn't.  We are no longer feeble minded creatures, living in caves, scared of what the "gods might do" if we don't sacrifice lambs and virgins.  We know that gods or God, or whatever, doesn't control the weather, doesn't dictate life and death, doesn't make the rules of the universe as it sees fit, yet, for some reason we are stuck clinging to this lie.

Alright, enough of the example, so what does this have to do with religion?  Well, it's the same thing, the exact...same...thing.  Religion was coined out of fear.  We didn't know what happened when lightning lit up the skies, when it wouldn't rain for weeks and crops would die, why innocent children got sick and died, so we did what we could, we made up a reason.  This worked well, of course, we have come a long way, and we couldn't have done it without the guidance of religion in our earliest years as a species.  However, times are different, things have changed.  The concept of religion has been perversed into a capitalistic model of wealth and power.  They have been specifically designed to target our inner most fears of death and the unknown to force us to keep coming back.

I am going to say this clearly, there MAY be a God.  I don't know if there is or isn't.  I can tell you one thing though, if it does exist, it doesn't give a damn if we give it 10% of our paycheck, sacrifice virgins, if our children are circumcised or not, pray for an hour a day, etc...  Why would a God care about any of this?  If God would be considered almighty and powerful, do our feeble materialistic donations mean a damn?  Of course not.  Additionally, in order for a God to be almighty and infinite, I have serious doubt that it contains any related Human emotions, like Love and Spite, or Jealousy.  Heck, if these so called Gods exist why do they need us to fight their battles of "good and evil", if it's so powerful why can't it just win?  This can go on and on and on forever, but the final story is anything we have now relating to some ultimate God is nonsense.  One may exists for the purpose of the Improbability factor, but we certainly no nothing about it.

So, on this day, I am completely coming out.  I was blind, but now I see, and the future has never been brighter.  I am finally free of the bonds and the fears of a non-existent deity that has plagued my mind for so many years.